So, I know that I am not the best steward of my money. It seems that no matter how hard I try, I just can't seem to get things under control. Yes, we have everything we need, and many things we want, but it seems like I am always broke and my savings account is dry. I have been doing everything I can to remedy this and I am determined to conquer this! I want my vehicle paid off, I want to buy a house, take a vacation, have an emergency fund. I just haven't been able to make it happen.
Well, I made a startling discovery this morning! Its been 41 years in the making and many of you may say "DUH!" when I tell you but was a light bulb moment for me. While this discovery is something I knew and have known for many many years, I think that it just took its time sinking into my hard headed brain and I finally just got it!
I discovered this website through a friend of mine the other day. This person is going through their own financial crisis and has taken up with one of them there financial planner type people. The financial planner gave them this website and they passed it along to me.
This website is fantastic. You can take all your accounts, checking, savings, loans, credit cards, all of it and hook them all together to see what you are spending! You can also make up a budget and the website will take the accounts you have entered and apply them to your budget and track where your money is going. It also sends you emails when you go over budget in any category! How fantastic is that!
Well, I sat and entered all my information last night and as I was looking at my budget, compared to what I spent I was AMAZED! I could see EXACTLY where my money was going and when I realized how much I could be saving by NOT going to those places or buying those things, I could have died!
Then it hit me....just because you HAVE the money, doesn't mean you have to SPEND the money!
There it is, the big revelation that took 41 years to sink in! Like I said, kind of a "DUH" moment, but it really, REALLY hit me hard! So, now that I know where my money is going, the next step it to alter my life accordingly.
Because we are near the end of the month, I have declared March a No-Spending Month, just like my new friend Sharon has for February...check it out here. If it is not on the budget, I will not be spending it. I need to see if I can live on my budget so that I can make the necessary alterations to my life so I can live more within my means and live simply and meet my goals. I have budgeted for things like Dance Lessons, a Book at B & N and money for my Son's activities, along with the regular household bills so that no one feels deprived, but nothing excessive or over the top. I will take the month of March to stick to the budget, to see if it is feasible, to see if I can live with it and within it. After that I will revise what needs to be revised...
So, now, what have I learned? Don't spend money just because you have it.
My goal, to see how much I can have left over at the end of March from my income! Wanna join me????
What I am Thankful For:
Sunshine
Kids back to school
Friends who care
Revelations
Kisses from my kids
Having a decent job
Brothers
Who I am Praying For:
Myself as I struggle
My children that they Lord Bless them and Keep them
Paul....
My family and friends
My Ex-Husband that someday he may see the light
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Monday, February 21, 2011
Feeling Invisible...
Have you ever had the feeling that you are invisible? That you can't be seen, can't be heard and therefore do not exist or if you do exist, you just don't matter? I am in that dark dreary place right now and I can't seem to shake it off...
I feel invisible with co-workers and friends....I hear people talking about the weekend, laughing, sharing and whispering behind their hands (or over their cubicle wall) completely leaving me out. Never am I asked how my weekend was, what my kids are up to or even how I am feeling. I am not included in conversations or plans. I am not sure how to approach this without sounding like a whiny elementary school child. "So-and-so doesn't want to play with me!!" I wasn't good at dealing with this sort of thing then and I not good at it now...So I just pretend that I don't care...
I feel invisible at home...as a single parent, everything falls to me so of course I am not invisible when someone wants or needs something, but other than those times, you wouldn't know I was there...I ask for help with the chores and the request goes in one ear and right out the other...Bedtime? HA what a joke....All I am good for is food and rides and money...No big deal Mom will pay for that, no big deal, Mom can give me a ride and all my friends too, No big deal, Mom can do the chores. No big deal......
My extended family feels as though it is dissipating, evaporating in front of my eyes. Before my mom died, we were closeknit, getting together nearly every weekend or every other for something or other. Laughing, talking, sharing...and now that she is gone it is like no one has the time nor the interest to spend time with me. I miss it (and her) more than anything. Now I get phone calls when someone needs something. No "Just wanted to chat" calls or "I wanted to check to make sure you are OK" calls. I feel as though I have been shoved roughly out of the ever-shrinking family circle.
Friends are busy with new relationships, old problems and their own lives. Even my relationship with my Honey isn't immune as he fights through his demons. I want to scream and shout that I am still here, to make someone, ANYONE hear me! To not feel so awful and alone. To believe that I matter to one person, to feel needed and wanted! And the part of me that isn't shouting wants to find a cabin in the woods and become a hermit. Turn about is fair play...you want nothing to do with me, I want nothing to do with you either.
There is only one problem with my plan....I am so damn lonely!
I feel invisible with co-workers and friends....I hear people talking about the weekend, laughing, sharing and whispering behind their hands (or over their cubicle wall) completely leaving me out. Never am I asked how my weekend was, what my kids are up to or even how I am feeling. I am not included in conversations or plans. I am not sure how to approach this without sounding like a whiny elementary school child. "So-and-so doesn't want to play with me!!" I wasn't good at dealing with this sort of thing then and I not good at it now...So I just pretend that I don't care...
I feel invisible at home...as a single parent, everything falls to me so of course I am not invisible when someone wants or needs something, but other than those times, you wouldn't know I was there...I ask for help with the chores and the request goes in one ear and right out the other...Bedtime? HA what a joke....All I am good for is food and rides and money...No big deal Mom will pay for that, no big deal, Mom can give me a ride and all my friends too, No big deal, Mom can do the chores. No big deal......
My extended family feels as though it is dissipating, evaporating in front of my eyes. Before my mom died, we were closeknit, getting together nearly every weekend or every other for something or other. Laughing, talking, sharing...and now that she is gone it is like no one has the time nor the interest to spend time with me. I miss it (and her) more than anything. Now I get phone calls when someone needs something. No "Just wanted to chat" calls or "I wanted to check to make sure you are OK" calls. I feel as though I have been shoved roughly out of the ever-shrinking family circle.
Friends are busy with new relationships, old problems and their own lives. Even my relationship with my Honey isn't immune as he fights through his demons. I want to scream and shout that I am still here, to make someone, ANYONE hear me! To not feel so awful and alone. To believe that I matter to one person, to feel needed and wanted! And the part of me that isn't shouting wants to find a cabin in the woods and become a hermit. Turn about is fair play...you want nothing to do with me, I want nothing to do with you either.
There is only one problem with my plan....I am so damn lonely!
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
The worst has passed...
Well my Dear Friends,
Unlike the rest of the nation, or at least the Midwest, we seem to have escaped the major wrath of the storm! We received maybe 5 inches of snow and there was blowing and drifting, but not major snowfalls (5 inches is nothing in WI) and thankfully no ice, sleet or power outages in my area. The kids are off school today, but it is the first snow day this year (unusually late for where we live!) I made it into work today with only minor episodes of busting through snow drifts! Glad I have a 4-wheel drive Jeep!
On another note, I took little Miss to the eye doctor yesterday to pick up her very first pair of glasses. They are a shiny purple and she looks absolutely adorable in them! She was very excited for them couldn't wait to get them! I am glad she is so excited, it means she will wear them without having to be asked. She only needs them for distance (chalkboard, whiteboard, tv, etc) so its not an all the time thing.
An update on my friend battling depression: Definitely seeing improvement! Meds have been taken on time. Has been exercising every day to release those endorphins. Has been to work every day since being released from the hospital (huge deal! hasn't worked a 5 day work week since Sept.!) Has really been working on communication with those closest to them. Sending lots of prayers that this road to recovery is all up hill and that there are no relapses! Would appreciate your prayers as well!
Well, back to work here now! Thinking of you all and hoping that you are safe and warm!
What I am Thankful for:
Warm, safe shelter
A good vehicle to get me to work
All of my loved ones are safe from the storm
Blue Sunshiny Skies
Having a job
Who/What I am Praying for:
My friend battling depression
Everyone in the midst of this blizzard, those with no power, no heat, no homes
My friend and cousin as they travel south on their "road trip"
My children, that God may hold them and guide them...
Unlike the rest of the nation, or at least the Midwest, we seem to have escaped the major wrath of the storm! We received maybe 5 inches of snow and there was blowing and drifting, but not major snowfalls (5 inches is nothing in WI) and thankfully no ice, sleet or power outages in my area. The kids are off school today, but it is the first snow day this year (unusually late for where we live!) I made it into work today with only minor episodes of busting through snow drifts! Glad I have a 4-wheel drive Jeep!
On another note, I took little Miss to the eye doctor yesterday to pick up her very first pair of glasses. They are a shiny purple and she looks absolutely adorable in them! She was very excited for them couldn't wait to get them! I am glad she is so excited, it means she will wear them without having to be asked. She only needs them for distance (chalkboard, whiteboard, tv, etc) so its not an all the time thing.
An update on my friend battling depression: Definitely seeing improvement! Meds have been taken on time. Has been exercising every day to release those endorphins. Has been to work every day since being released from the hospital (huge deal! hasn't worked a 5 day work week since Sept.!) Has really been working on communication with those closest to them. Sending lots of prayers that this road to recovery is all up hill and that there are no relapses! Would appreciate your prayers as well!
Well, back to work here now! Thinking of you all and hoping that you are safe and warm!
What I am Thankful for:
Warm, safe shelter
A good vehicle to get me to work
All of my loved ones are safe from the storm
Blue Sunshiny Skies
Having a job
Who/What I am Praying for:
My friend battling depression
Everyone in the midst of this blizzard, those with no power, no heat, no homes
My friend and cousin as they travel south on their "road trip"
My children, that God may hold them and guide them...
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