Mixed Emotions

Well...it's here....moving weekend! Yes, I know, it's only Thursday. I took a vacation day tomorrow to try to get everything done. Ha! I also have to squeeze in a doctors appointment and a trip to take the kiddos to their dads (a 5 hour excursion).

And in this, the beginning of a new chapter of my life, I am having some very mixed emotions. I am sad that we are leaving our drafty old trailer with the broken windows that don't open and the threadbare carpet. It is the home I moved my babies to when I began my life as a single parent almost exactly 8 years ago. It is where my daughter started school and my son brought his first girlfriend. It is where we have made Christmas cookies, carved pumpkins, played board games and made snowmen. It is where she learned to read and he learned to drive. There have been dreams, hopes, adventures and laughter. We have also grieved the loss of loved ones and prayed through the illnesses of others. We have worshipped,  we have grown,  and we have loved.

When we first moved in, I saw it as a stepping stone on the path to something better.  We were going to have a nice house in the country, with animals and a big garden. At first it was temporary, only a trailer house. It was my sweet daughter who reminded me that this trailer was the only home she could remember living in. Then it hit me, this is HOME! And now I am sad to be leaving it.

But leaving it we are. We move into a new home this weekend. One that us familiar  to all of us and yet new and strange. It is a house we have all spent a great deal if time in and holds many fond memories. It is my childhood home and to my kids, its "Grandma's House".

We are all really excited about the move. We will have a large home that feels more permanent.  It is a place they can be proud of with neighbors who are more like family. Some of them have lived there since my parents moved in 35 years ago! We now have a huge yard with room for a garden and flowers and grapes. Room for a tire swing and a fire pit. We have a screened in porch, a beautiful view and a basement for storms.

Not only are we excited for this, but the rest of the family is as well. Something was lost when my dad remarried after my mom died and then moved to a smaller house. I feel like I am giving that something back, to my siblings and to the grandchildren.  I'm giving them back "HOME". It's that place to gather with loved ones, for coffee and cookies or for Christmas and Easter. That place in everyone's heart where they feel like they belong.

So it is with mixed feelings that I take this next step. It is good and it will be blessed, but there is an ache in my heart none the less.