Letting Go....

Last Sunday night my Cookie Monster went with his "brother" to a friend's house about an hour away. The snow had been falling off and on for most of the day and this Mama was concerned about them driving. It was  only light, fluffy snow covering the road in front of the house but I knew by looking that it would be a long, slippery ride. It was the kind of snow that turns to grease on the roads and would suck you into the ditch in a second. The boys are young (18 and 20), and do not have much experience driving on slick roads and the car they were in had bad tires and no heat. I tried to hint, as only a Mama can, that they should stay home where they were safe. They laughed in their invincibility and reassured me they would call when they arrived.

The brothers with their "other mother" (Michael's Mom)

Cookie and his best female friend

Some Buddies from School

So there I sat, in worry and prayer, for nearly an hour and a half waiting for a call to say there were fine. Eventually the call came and I could breathe deep, reassuring gulps of air into my aching lungs. I wondered how this letting go could be anything but difficult. I thought about my sweet Mama and the raising of four babies and of letting go with grace. It seemed in here there was no worry, only confidence that we were ready to face the world and that we would all do it well. I now know that under that confidence ran a river of worry, deep with anxiety, keeping her up at night, sitting silently in prayer for her children. I know this not because she told me but because that is where I am now.

I know it is a Mama's job (and a Daddy's too) to raise children up ready to leave the nest, able to care for themselves. Our job is not to instill fear in them, or keep them near us to ensure their safety. They have to grow, learn, make mistakes, and fall. We can only stand at the ready, letting them know we are in their corner, cheering them on. We as parents, teach them what they need to know, cover them in prayer, and then entrust them to God's safekeeping.

The letting go part is NOT easy. I love being Mama and having the kids around. They make me laugh and settle my soul. While I know I will always be Mama, the kids will not always be around. I pray that I can raise them "in the way they should go and when they are older they won't depart from it." (Proverbs 22:6) I pray that God continues to have His hand of protection on them all the days of their lives, and I pray that the letting go still means that there will be a coming back, even if it is only for a weekend.