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Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Letting Go

Hello Dear Friends,

Today I am feeling a bit on the sad side. One of the biggest challenges we face as Moms is letting our child grow up and spread their wings. It is hard to admit that they have minds of their own and don't always believe that "Mom knows best". I am confronted with this nearly every day with my 15 year old Cookie Monster. He is on the verge of manhood and yet such a little boy in so many ways. And of course in my Mama eyes, he is just a wee little one, still needing his Mama.

Well, last night my wee little Cookie Monster (who isn't so small any more) blurted out that he is going to live with his father for the summer. His dad and I have been divorced for seven years and live in different states about 3 hours apart. He said that he intends to come "visit" on some weekends, but will actually be living with his dad. Last summer, Cookie Monster wanted to go live with his father permanently. I convinced him that it would be in his best interest to finish out his schooling where he started it. He is halfway through high school and it is so difficult to adapt and adjust to a new one. He would have been going from a school with only 71 in his class to a school with nearly 600 in just his class, more than in his entire current high school! Huge adjustment on his part. After many tears, sleepless nights and a trip to a counselor, he agreed to finish his school here, on the condition that he live with his dad in the summer.

While it pains me deeply to think he will not be here, I know that if I try to stop him it will only make him resent me and could severely and permanently damage our relationship. I don't want him to go for so many reasons, some selfish, others not so much, but I know that at some point I have to let him try things out for himself. If I don't he will always wonder what would have, could have been. Its been hard enough on him to be away from his dad without me taking this away too. I am hoping that this will allow our relationship to grow and that we will still be close.

So I will let go..I will let my sweet little Cookie Monster live with his dad for the summer and every day I will pray that his choices and decisions are guided by God and that every step he takes will be under the protection of the mighty living Lord......

Who I am Praying For Today:
My Sweet Cookie Monster as he learns to make his way in the world...
My Darling Princess Pea as yet more changes invade her life
Me too as I struggle under the burdens weighing down on me
My  Sweet Honey as he faces the challenges that threaten to overwhelm
My Step Daughter in the Making as she takes yet another step into the grown-up world
My Cousin, her Fiance and their new precious wee one as they learn to be a family
My Dear Friend's husband after his unexpected heart attack at the age of 41 and the surgery he is undergoing today
Another Dear Friends son as he fights through the many challenges facing him in his recovery from the IED
A Bloggy Friends nephew as he does the same...
My cousin's family as they lay Paul to rest today...He was a beloved husband, father, grandfather, brother, uncle,cousin and friend. May he Rest in Peace

What I am Thankful For:
A good nights sleep
My job
My beloved children
My Sweet Honey
My family, near and far

My health



2 comments:

  1. Sheila,
    I'm sure this is very hard on you. As someone who has had to share custody, I understand. My two older daughters are from a previous marriage, and although my ex lived in the same community, it was devastating to "share". (My ex remarried and she caused a lot of problems). However, now my daughters are grown women. One is married and is moving away this summer. The other is graduating from college and is will be going back for graduate school. The pain of yesterday is gone now, as I prepare to probably "lose" this daughter too. But it's all good. They are grown up beautiful women. It sounds like your son really wants to see his Dad. This is a good thing. Use your "free" time without him to dote on your other children. Above all, take some time for you. It's really important for your health, happiness and sanity! Sending {{hugs}} your way!

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  2. Baby bird will be fine....he will learn, and grow, and gain knowledge and momentum. Who he was..who he is..who he becomes--you held his heart and cleared his path. Stand strong in the faith that you have blessed him with. Watch as he spreads his wings...and know that your soul soars with him. Be gentle with yourself Mama bird....<3.

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God's many blessings on you!
Sheila