Brad...

Hello Dear Friends,

I know I have been making myself scarce lately and am working on fixing that but it seems as though one thing piles on top of the other and by the time I go to sit down and blog it is going on 11 PM, much to late to start anything.

One of the things that has taken precedence this week is a sudden and tragic death of a family friend. My sister-in-law's family and mine have been intertwined for many years (like 50). Her aunt and my mother were best friends in high school. Then to have their children marry, well that cemented a relationship among all of us. Unfortunately, those ties lead us to the sadness I have today. My sister-in-law's nephew, Brad, was killed early Sunday morning in a traffic accident at the age of 25.

We have spent much time with Brad over the years, watching him as he grew from a mere infant at my brother's wedding to a teenager graduating from high school to a young man with a son of his own. His loss is having a ripple effect throughout their family and my own. It is a tragic loss and saddens my heart to no end. His son, Gabe (4), will have no memories of his father and will not understand this at all (like any of us do??).

While Brad is no longer among us, I am thankful to say that he will live on, as his wife and parents agreed to donate all usable organs. I am also thankful to say that this accident was simply that, an accident. There were no alcohol or drugs involved. This knowledge helps me know that it was simply Brad's time to go home and join his loved ones in Heaven.

While we cannot understand the loss of one who had barely begun to live, we can rest in peace in the Word of God.

"The Lord will hear your crying and he will comfort you. 

When he hears you, he will help you." Isaiah 30:19 NCV

“The Lord is near to the broken-hearted, 

and saves the crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34:18(NRSV)

“Jesus said unto her, I am the resurrection, 

and the life: he that believeth in me, 

though he were dead, yet shall he live. 

And whosoever liveth and believeth in me shall never die.”  John 11:25-26 (KNV)

And with those comforting words, I will leave you now. May God Bless each and every one of you. May he shower you with his protection, love and peace.....

Yours in Christ,
Sheila

Praying for my Boyfriend....

Hello Dear Ones...

Once again I have left you for the long days of being a single parent, winding down the school year with two very busy children. We have had dance recitals, band concerts, parades, graduation and parties and many other activities that keep me away from my computer at home. I will be posting pictures of these as soon as things settle down a bit... maybe next week :)

But today, my friend Sandra over at Diary of a Stay at Home Mom started a new series that I just had to post. She is spending the next 31 days praying for her husband. She is an Air Force wife, however, this works for all non-military families as well.

So many times we spend time praying for everyone and everything. We, as prayer warriors, can get besieged with prayer requests and we end up spending time praying for people we may not even know. This is not necessarily a bad thing, however, how often do we spend time praying for our husbands or significant others?

I don't know about you, but I pray a lot for my kids, my brothers, my nieces and nephews and father. I pray for my friends, for our government, for our military members and for my congregation. How often do I bend my knees and beseech God for my boyfriend and his well-being, physically, mentally and emotionally?

This man, this gorgeous, wonderful, supportive, loving man, who would do anything for me. The one who takes care of my children as if they were his own. Who steadfastly pushes me to better myself and makes me want to be a better person. The one who believes I am capable of anything and that I am prettier, sexier, smarter, kinder than I ever thought I could be. He is the one who makes me want to be the person he believes I am. Why do I not pray as much for him?

So starting today, June 1, 2011, I will join Sandra and many other women as they set apart a moment of their day to raise husbands/boyfriends/significant others up to the Lord and watch the blessings of our Great God rain down on them.

Please consider joining me...

Much love and blessings to you all!  

As promised....flower beds!

Well, the children and I spent last night working at creating beautiful flower beds where before there was only chaos! There used to be a flower bed at one point, but it has become completely overgrown, the edging is all gone and it has basically gone back to a very weedy part of the lawn. I have attempted over the last years to add some things to it to get it to look like something resembling a flower bed, but it never quite worked. So now, I splurged on some edging, black plastic and mulch. If anything it will cover and kill the weeds. I have some lilies growing, along with Black-eyed Susans, chives, hens and chicks and hostas. Once the beds have been created and filled with mulch, I plan on adding more perennials and annuals. I am also going to get shepards hooks for bird feeders and cute little garden statues! My Amish built shed will be here on Monday, so I will have a hiding spot for all the things hanging out on my deck right now!

And now, as promised, "BEFORE" pictures....

God dag Kjære venner ... Good Day Dear Friends...

 Hello My dear friends and Happy Syttende Mai!

Today is Norway's Constitution Day, or Syttende Mai (Seventeenth of May). To me it is such a joy to be a Norwegian descendant. Technically I am only 2nd full generation American on my father's side and 3rd generation on my maternal Grandmother's side. My paternal grandparents came from Norway as did my maternal grandmother's parents. It is something we hold dear and celebrate!

A little explanation for my Non-Norwegian friends.  Under Swedish rule, Norway signed their own Constitution on 17 May, 1814 and even though Norway did not achieve full independence until 1864,  Syttende Mai is still the day we celebrate. My cousin, Anna, has a fantastic explanation on her site...A Messy Indulgence  Go over and check it out! :)

I am proud to be a Norwegian American, even if I don't eat lutefisk or rommegrot!  Look for pictures of our local festival to be coming soon.....


Må Gud velsigne dere, mine kjære venner, hver og en! Happy Syttende Mai!
(Translation: May God bless you my Dear Friends, each and every one! Happy Syttende Mai! )

Gardening and weekend plans!

Well My Dear Friends, it will be a busy weekend indeed! I have gotten my garden supplies home and ready to go. I dug out and replanted a bush that needed to be moved and have started cleaning out the bed around my tree where the tulips are growing! And I am so excited that my dad has offered to bring his tiller up and use that in the flower bed and garden instead of hand digging it all! (My son and my arms and back thank him very much!) Now all I have to do is find the time to work on it! They are calling for rain throughout the weekend too, so it will most likely have to wait til next week.

In the meantime, my shed from the Amish should be done soon. They called from the neighbors and wanted to me to stop in to make delivery arrangements! I am so excited! Not only does it mean  more storage for me, but also a clothes line! In the trailer park they have to be retractable, so I can attach one end to the shed and the other to the deck! :) I am sooo excited! This shed also means more organization and cleanliness to the yard.

Again, all of this will have to wait til after the weekend! It is really going to be a busy one! Our little town has their festival this weekend! The town was founded by Norwegians (which most of the residents still are today) so we celebrate Syttende Mai, which is Seventeenth of May, or Norwegian Constitution Day. There are so many things happening this weekend and me and the kids are involved in many activities.

Cookie Monster's high school jazz band has a performance at the church on Sunday before the parade and then the marching band is in the parade.

Princess Pea is in the Norwegian  Dance group and will have 2 performances and will also be in the parade. Also her girl scout troop will lead the Kiddie Parade on Saturday! She will actually be in the parade twice as her Dance Studio has an entry as well and she is hoping to make it through the parade with them as well!

I will also be busy. Besides shuffling kids where they need to be, the high school band and band parents association work various booths throughout the festival to raise money for the kids' activities. The band usually takes a trip or two and this puts money into the kids' accounts.  Cookie Monster will be working at various booths over the weekend and so will I. Every little bit helps. The band is researching a trip to Norway in the summer of 2013, so we are working hard to get enough money in his account so he can go!

Besides the various festival activities and gardening fun, there is always the usual housework and laundry to be done as well. I think I may need to come back to work on Monday to rest up!

What are all of my bloggy friends up to this weekend?

I'm so Excited!

So my dear friends...tonight is the night I have been WAITING for! As soon as I am off work, we are headed out to Menards to get all the fixings for my flower bed.

This year I am determined to reclaim my flower bed, adding gorgeous flowers and herbs! I will also have a bird bath, bird feeders and cute little fairies peaking out at me!

Once my Amish built shed arrives, (in the next couple weeks) I will also be able to reclaim my deck, banishing all the work tools, extra pots and potting soil to the shed, making room for a cute little table and chairs or maybe a bench where I can sit, sip my tea and enjoy my  beautiful yard!

I can't wait to post before and after pictures! And maybe some "in progress" ones as well!

Military Spouse Appreciation Day - Today May 6th...

Hello Dear Friends!

Today has officially been dubbed "Military Spouse Appreciation Day!" While I am not married to a military man *YET*, my boyfriend has served in the Army and National Guard for the last 23 years. I am proud of what he does but feel that my part is relatively minor. I support him and honor him and do what I can to give a helping hand. My friend Sandra at Diary of a Stay at Home Mom kindly let me borrow the following from her post this morning.

This goes out to all the Military Spouses....I am proud to be a part of your sorority (almost):

I am a military wife -- a member of that sisterhood of women who have had the courage to watch their men go into battle, and the strength to survive until their return.

Our sorority knows no rank, for we earn our membership with a marriage license, traveling over miles, or over nations to begin a new life with our military husbands.

Within days, we turn a barren, echoing building into a home, and though our quarters are inevitably white-walled and unpapered, we decorate with the treasures of our travels, for we shop the markets of the globe. Using hammer and nail, we tack our pictures to the wall, and our roots to the floor as firmly as if we had lived there for a lifetime. We hold a family together by the bootstraps, and raise the best of "brats," instilling in them the motto, "Home is togetherness," whether motel, or guest house, apartment or duplex.

As military wives we soon realize that the only good in "Good-bye" is the "Hello again."

For as salesmen for freedom, our husbands are often on the road, at sea, or in the sky, leaving us behind for a week, a month, an assignment. During separations we guard the home front, existing until the homecoming. Unlike our civilian counterparts, we measure time, not by years, but by tours -- married at Knox, a baby born at Portsmouth, a special anniversary at Yorktown, a promotion in McDill.

We plant trees, and never see them grow tall, work on projects completed long after our departure, and enhance our community for the betterment of those who come after us. We leave a part of ourselves at every stop. Through experience, we have learned to pack a suitcase, a car or hold baggage, and live indefinitely from the contents within: and though our fingers are sore from the patches we have sewn, and the silver we have shined, our hands are always ready to help those around us.

Women of peace, we pray for a world in harmony, for the flag that leads our men into battle, will also blanket them in death. Yet we are an optimistic group, thinking of the good, and forgetting the bad, cherishing yesterday, while anticipating tomorrow.

Never rich by monetary standards, our hearts are overflowing with a wealth of experiences common only to those united by the special tradition of military life.

We pass on this legacy to every military bride, welcoming her with outstretched arms, with love and friendship, from one sister to another, sharing in the bounty of our unique, fulfilling military way of life.

Author Unknown

God Bless Each and every Military Spouse reading this, and all those that are not ....Thank you for your support and sacrifice. It is appreciated!

Letting Go

Hello Dear Friends,

Today I am feeling a bit on the sad side. One of the biggest challenges we face as Moms is letting our child grow up and spread their wings. It is hard to admit that they have minds of their own and don't always believe that "Mom knows best". I am confronted with this nearly every day with my 15 year old Cookie Monster. He is on the verge of manhood and yet such a little boy in so many ways. And of course in my Mama eyes, he is just a wee little one, still needing his Mama.

Well, last night my wee little Cookie Monster (who isn't so small any more) blurted out that he is going to live with his father for the summer. His dad and I have been divorced for seven years and live in different states about 3 hours apart. He said that he intends to come "visit" on some weekends, but will actually be living with his dad. Last summer, Cookie Monster wanted to go live with his father permanently. I convinced him that it would be in his best interest to finish out his schooling where he started it. He is halfway through high school and it is so difficult to adapt and adjust to a new one. He would have been going from a school with only 71 in his class to a school with nearly 600 in just his class, more than in his entire current high school! Huge adjustment on his part. After many tears, sleepless nights and a trip to a counselor, he agreed to finish his school here, on the condition that he live with his dad in the summer.

While it pains me deeply to think he will not be here, I know that if I try to stop him it will only make him resent me and could severely and permanently damage our relationship. I don't want him to go for so many reasons, some selfish, others not so much, but I know that at some point I have to let him try things out for himself. If I don't he will always wonder what would have, could have been. Its been hard enough on him to be away from his dad without me taking this away too. I am hoping that this will allow our relationship to grow and that we will still be close.

So I will let go..I will let my sweet little Cookie Monster live with his dad for the summer and every day I will pray that his choices and decisions are guided by God and that every step he takes will be under the protection of the mighty living Lord......

Who I am Praying For Today:
My Sweet Cookie Monster as he learns to make his way in the world...
My Darling Princess Pea as yet more changes invade her life
Me too as I struggle under the burdens weighing down on me
My  Sweet Honey as he faces the challenges that threaten to overwhelm
My Step Daughter in the Making as she takes yet another step into the grown-up world
My Cousin, her Fiance and their new precious wee one as they learn to be a family
My Dear Friend's husband after his unexpected heart attack at the age of 41 and the surgery he is undergoing today
Another Dear Friends son as he fights through the many challenges facing him in his recovery from the IED
A Bloggy Friends nephew as he does the same...
My cousin's family as they lay Paul to rest today...He was a beloved husband, father, grandfather, brother, uncle,cousin and friend. May he Rest in Peace

What I am Thankful For:
A good nights sleep
My job
My beloved children
My Sweet Honey
My family, near and far

My health

Time...What a Gift!

Hello Dear Readers, I am so sorry I have gone and left you in the lurch for  quite some time now! Life has gotten so busy and I don't expect that to stop any time soon. The end of the school year leaves much to be desired. There are always contests, track meets, concerts, parades, and dance recitals. Not to mention graduations and the parties that need attending..

Today I am left wondering where the time goes. Indeed, it seems like just yesterday that my wonderful darling children were mere tots, following along behind me, copying everything I did. There were diapers to change, books to read, babies to rock and boo boos to kiss. There were finger smudges on everything, toys strewn on the floor and chocolate faced kisses. There was wonder and excitement about being alive and the enormous thrill of discovering everything. And it all seems like just yesterday....Where did all that go? How did I lose that in the midst of what can best be described as LIFE?

 Earlier today, I was looking at my calendar and  found myself amazed that my oldest child, my firstborn, will end his sophomore year of high school in a matter of mere weeks. And in between now and then, just to make the time go faster, we have no less than 5 track meets, 1 band concert, 2 proms (his girl goes to another school), 1 parade, State Solo and Ensemble contest, Fine Arts Banquet, Commencement ceremony for his cousin and friends, and all the graduation parties that come with that.

Add to that my daughters' schedule of 2 concerts, 5 dance practices, 1 dress rehearsal, 1 dance recital, 1 girl scout picnic and a princess coronation

And  my schedule, with 2 weddings and several graduation parties and well,  you get the idea! 

All of this leaves me wondering, why do we shove so many activities into our lives. When do we slow down and appreciate today, this very minute. How can we hold onto time as it slips so easily and quickly through our fingers?

In Ann Voskamp's book One Thousand Gifts, she states that the answer to slowing down time is Gratitude. Thanking God for all the small gifts in our lives that He bestows on us. Ann says that if we take the time to live fully in the moment, in the here and now, gratefully experiencing what is happening with an open heart, time will slow, just for a moment, and I think she is right....

So, I plan on tackling my busy schedule with a grateful heart, knowing that each moment will be a precious memory later in life and that maybe, just maybe if I jump in with both feet and savor every moment, time will slow...just for a moment!

God's Blessings on you my Dear Friends...

Who/What I am Praying For:
My Children, that God holds them in His hand
Jordan, Nicholas and all other military members injured serving their country
My friend suffering from depression as they battle the darkness yet again.
My cousin as she looks forward to her first child, any day now!
My friends who I know would drop everything when I need it
My family, I love you all dearly,

What I am Thankful For:
Red-winged Blackbirds - a sign of Spring here in Wisconsin
Awesome children
Friends who come to my rescue when needed
Little signs of hope
Pre-made dinners!
Family who step in and treat my children as their own.

Deep Thinking, Sadness and Change...

Hello Dear Sweet Ones...

Today I wear the mantle of melancholy, sadness seeping into my heart and oozing out of every pore. I'm not sure why today, but there it is, full out in the open, bringing tears to my eyes and a heaviness to my heart.  I was at the coffee pot this morning and it overwhelmed me, threatening to crush my very spirit. My first notice of it was a remembrance of my dear sweet mother. There was a whiff of something resembling her perfume and then the heaviness descended. My heart aches with the longing for her, for her laugh, her smiles, her words of wisdom. Now, when I feel I need her more than ever, she is not here. It isn't her fault, I know and I know that she is much happier with our Lord, out of pain and out of sadness. Her well worn hands now soft and the wrinkles on her brow smoothed. She is out of worries, out of illness, out of fear and into the light of God. But I am still sad. I can't write this without the tears even after 2 years.

There are days that I need my mother more so than others. Today is one of those days. While I wrote in my last post that I know on these difficult days that my Lord and Savior goes ahead to blaze a trail, to help me find my way in this world, it is on days like today when I stumble along behind him, tears filling my eyes to the point that I can barely see His footprints on the ground in front of me.

As I sit here thinking of my mother, my mind moves on to others that have gone, those that have touched our heart and left us to grieve and I come to the understanding that while I grieve for them, I also hurt because of the change that naturally accompanies death. So many things change when a loved one passes over, little things and big things. Things you don't even think about until you go to do them (like make a phone call).  Change happens, it always will, but that doesn't make it easy.

Hopefully tomorrow (or even later tonight) I will be able to go back to being at peace with my life....

In the meantime my Beloveds...
God Bless each and everyone of you...

When Friday turns into Monday...

Hello Dear Friends...

What do ya'll do when your Friday, the day that you look forward to most out of the whole week turns into a Monday? Not physically turns into Monday of course, but starts to have all the characteristics that are usually attributed to Monday, everyone seems to be crabby, seems like everything goes wrong, you don't want to get up, etc...

Well, unfortunately, that is how my day has started and is now continuing. It definitely feels like that guy Murphy is around here somewhere playing his awful tricks. Honey woke up late and in a questionable mood, computer acting weird at work, bad news for Honey that will potentially keep us apart for the weekend, Cookie Monster hurt his hip in track last night, Princess Pea is having difficulties with friends at school, worry about Honey's job come Monday if the Govt shuts down

My goodness, my list could go on and on and on.....Thank goodness I know that I have help on days like today!

We can be sure when we say "I will not be afraid,

because the Lord is my helper." Hebrews 13:6 NCV

God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.

Psalm 46:1

Our soul waits for the Lord;

He is our help and our shield

Psalm 33:20 NKJV

Someone walks beside me, guiding my footsteps, clearing the way for me to go. I can't imagine what I would be going through if God didn't go first....I imagine my life to be this incredibly dense forest, with trees and bushes and vines and brambles covering every inch.There is no way over, around or under. The only way is to go through, but there is no path. Imagine how difficult it would be to move forward and how much you must struggle to take even one step. Then I imagine that God goes before me, he cuts through the roughage with his scythe and ax, making a path for me to follow. He clears a way through the forest. It still may not be easy, it still may entail thorns, rocky ground and progress may be slow, but it is far easier to move through life with God going before making a path.

Your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying,

"This is the way, walk in it,"

whenever you turn to the right hand 

or whenever you turn to the left

Isaiah 30:21 NKJV

The Lord your God will lead you and

protect you on every side

Isaiah 52:12 GNT

Everyday I ask Him to guide me, to go before me, blazing a path for my footsteps to follow. On days like today, when Friday turns into Monday, I just have to remember to keep asking him and keep following his path.

Watch for His footsteps, they are there if you look hard enough...

God Bless each and every one of you...

Who/What I am Praying For:
Myself, that I search for Gods' footsteps with an open heart and follow them diligently
My Children, that He guide their steps as well
Honey and his children as they search for their own path through a very dense forest right now
Jordan that his recover continue
My brother as he goes through one of the roughest journey of his life
Family and Friends, far and wide

What I am Thankful For:
The promise of spring thunderstorms this weekend
A shopping spree at the fabric store with my sis-in-law, niece and Princess Pea (pictures to come soon I hope)
Unexpected dinner with my adored oldest brother
A close relationship with my family

Spring!

Well today is Wednesday and the sun is shining and the weatherman said it is supposed to be over 50 degrees today! And they are NEVER wrong right??? Ha ha! But in any case, just the sun streaming through the windows of my office is cause for my heart to soar and my spirits to lift tremendously!

I am dreaming of gardens today. I am making a trip to Home Depot or Menards this weekend to purchase the necessary supplies for my new, well, reclaimed flower/herb bed! I am so excited! I am getting the borders and dirt to go in it and my brother is coming to help me rip out old shrubs and bushes! I can't wait to see how it look and to start planting all the flowers and herbs in it! I will be adding bird feeders, wind chimes, chairs/benches, making my yard a welcome place for all!

Later this spring I am also purchasing a wooden shed from the Amish that live close to us. My dad has a large one and it looks so nice and the construction is top-notch! I won't need one as large as my dad's, but I am looking forward to the additional storage it will offer. I can really clean some things out of my house then. Seasonal items like fans and Christmas tree stands. Gardening tools, charcoal and lighter fluid and air compressors call all be moved out there, freeing up my laundry room to be just that, a laundry room. Once all of that is out of the laundry room, I am also going to re-purpose part of it into a pantry for large cooking items (lefse griddle, extra crock pot, etc...) and for my store of food and household items (the laundry room, not the shed hee hee)

This spring is really making me feel hopeful. I feel that I can actually do some of the things I have been wanting to do but haven't had the money. I will post pictures, before and after, so you can all see the progress I have made!  I'm so excited!

Who I am praying for: 
Jordan....may his wounds, both inside and out, continue to heal with God's loving touch...
My children unceasingly - (all of them, birth, step in the making, adopted)
Honey...as he goes through his day
Family and friends, flung far and wide.
Our government, the day after election day, that God has a hand in all they decide
The people of Japan as they recover and rebuild. For those that mourn, may God make Himself known and give them peace in their grief.

What I am Thankful for Today:
Sunshine
Dreams of gardens
Multi-colored pens, pink, purple, aqua, they just make my heart smile!
Reconnecting with loved ones and rebuilding relationships.
Friends of my teenager, asking to come to my house because they miss their "adopted" mom
Promises of tulips sprouting soon! 

Addictions....

Hello My Dear Friends...

Aren't you lucky...two posts from me in one day! Hee hee...I wanted to share with you some of my favorite addictions...:)

Books!

Sewing

Fabric!

Yarn

Pepsi, the WORST Addiction

Coffee...not far behind the Pepsi

 

 

 

Romantic Country Decorating...if only I could get my house to look like that!

So there, now you know a little more about what makes me tick! And I am off to one of my very favorite places in the whole wide world....my bed..

Good Night My Friends..

Who I am Praying for Tonight...
My Kids, asking God to watch over them
My Honey
My Family
My friend's nephew Jordan as he recovers from injuries he received overseas
My cousin Leah as she wades through the mess of school, work, having a baby in 2-3 weeks, a wedding in two months and having to move in the middle of all of this...
My cousin Amy, Leah's Mom, who lives far from her adored daughter

What I am Thankful for tonight....
Cookie Monsters (sons) and Princesses (daughters)
Amoxicillin for ear infections
Snoring Kitties
Memories of loved ones
Sunshine

Memories of Grandma

Hello Friends...I am feeling very melancholy today. I am missing my grandmother a great deal. She passed on a little over 3 years ago and I find that I miss her as much, if not more, today than I did the day she died. It doesn't take much to bring back memories of her, she was a very large part of my family all of my life. I saw her nearly every weekend and spent countless hours talking with her about many things.

Today I was looking through some websites for some canning recipes. My landlord has agreed to let me have a "small" garden this year and I am planning on taking advantage of that as much as I can, growing food for my small family and putting it up for next winter.

Well in my "surfing", I came across a recipe for apple sauce. One of my very favorite memories of my grandmother is of her and I, sitting at my kitchen table, peeling apples for my very first batch of homemade applesauce. She peeled, I cooked and canned and the whole time we talked. She gave instructions, showing me how to wipe the jars before putting on the lids. It was my first attempt at canning and I am so thankful I got to experience it with her.

I know that I will always miss my grandmother, but I also know that every time I make homemade apple sauce to can I will think of her....

Grandma Olive and Princess Pea

Finally Friday....decisions, decisons!

Hello Dear Friends!!

I am so glad to see you!  Thanks for stopping by for a visit! I hope you are all well and happy! We are fighting colds and ear infections at our house, so I was hoping for a few days of warm sunny weather where I could open the windows and get some fresh air into the house! But alas, Mother Nature has other plans! We woke this morning to a light snowstorm. The flakes were big and fluffy and it was simply beautiful as I looked out the window! While it was enchanting to look at, it is the first of April and I can honestly say that I am glad to know that it truly won't last long! In fact its lunch time, and much of it is already gone.

Well, its here...that day of the week we all look forward to........FRIDAY!! Its the day that makes me want to jump up and down, dance around and smile all day long! Most people are happy with Friday simple because it is the end of the work week and signals the start of two days of relaxation (or catching up on chores and errands), but for me, Friday holds another meaning altogether! Friday is the day that I finally get to see my Honey after a long difficult week!

It means that I get to be snuggled, cuddled, kissed and held. I get meals made for me (he is a fantastic cook) and I get pampered a bit! Some would say I am spoiled, I say I am just well taken care of. ;-) My Honey adores me (as I do him) and treats me as a princess when we are together.

Lately that time together has been infringed on by many outside forces, limiting us to see each other only every other weekend instead of every weekend, so each minute we have together is precious. That is why making the decision to go see him or stay at home this weekend even is even more difficult!

You see, Honey hasn't been home in over a week. So this tells me that he has laundry to do, a house to clean and other chores to attend to. While these chores are necessary, if I go to his house, I will feel like I need to help with these chores (which, unfortunately doesn't happen when he comes to my house, at least not very often). If I wanted to do these types of household chores, I should stay home and attend to mine. They are screaming for my attention as well. Another thought on this, if I go to his house, many of his chores will not get done anyway. He will

Another factor in this decision is financial. We are both trying to reign in our spending and with the cost of gas these days, it will be a hit in my pocketbook. If I didn't have to take my kids to my EX it wouldn't be so bad, but I have to meet him 1 1/2 hours north of my house and my Honey lives 2 hours south of my house. If you do the math, that is nearly 5 hours of driving and all the gasoline that comes with it and then to do it again on Sunday. . I would be spending well over $100 just in gasoline for my Jeep. Like I said, if I didn't have to take the kids to their dads it would be ok.

One more thing that I need to take into consideration. I have been fighting off the "crud" for a few days. I feel like I could lay my head down and just sleep. My head is full, my nose is full, my chest is congested and I just want to crawl in bed. I should take these 2 days without kids and just rest so that I get better and so I don't give it to him.

So, those are all the reasons why I shouldn't go....how about why I should.....He is my Honey and I love him and I want to see him and snuggle with him! I want to feel like I am not alone in this world or forgotten about. I want to see the love he has for me shining in his eyes....Our time together is limited already, why should I limit it even further?

So, any ideas what I should do? I have a bag packed and in the car, I will probably make up my mind when I am on the way back from dropping off my kids, right around the exit where I turn to go home or keep going straight to the arms of my Honey....

Spring Cleaning...

Well my Friends...It has begun....Spring Cleaning! I actually love this time of year...I go through everything, shake the dust off, open the windows wide to let the fresh cleansing spring air drive out all of Winter's staleness. I go through every closet, drawer, and under bed hiding spots to get a fresh start! 

The last few years I haven't done as thorough of a job as I normally do, leaving remnants of winters past to clean up this year. This homemaking bug or heart's leading that I am feeling is exceptionally strong this year and I am determined to get through my spring cleaning before the kids get into their end of year activities in May. This gives me a 30 day time span! While this sounds like more than enough time, please consider that I also work a full time job and am solely responsible for shuffling kids to and from extra curricular activities!

So far I have been able to accomplish much! My bathroom has been cleaned, re-grouted, organized, simplified and re-stocked. My closet has been cleaned, weeded out, and organized. My dresser drawers are now free of non-clothing related items and the clothing that remains is clean, stain and rip free and is the correct size for my body. My book shelf has been pared down and weeded out! (Don't worry, I just moved the books I have read into boxes in my newly organized closet, they aren't really GONE).

Next up...under my bed...the storage space for anything and everything..from gift bags and wrapping paper to kindergarten artwork and so much more...That should just about do it for my bedroom and then it is on to the Laundry room which I am converting into a Laundry Room/Pantry! I am claiming the space for stocking up! Once I get my new shed later this spring, most of what is in the laundry room can be moved out there (Fans, Christmas Tree stand, gardening tools, etc...) leaving more space for groceries and household necessities).

There are so many more places that need my attention!  My craft area (Lord help me there....) the kitchen cupboards, the game shelf, the kids rooms.... I can only take it one day at a time...but for now...it has begun in grand fashion!

Now, my next question...does anyone out there have fantastic organizational or space saving tips and techniques to help me out? Living in a trailer home does not lead to much storage..I have to take it where I can get it. Let me know how you do it and if you Spring Clean or not....

Well, I'd better go get some work done here...though the day is rather slow.....I am looking forward to getting home to my family tonight and to tearing into the next phase of my 30 day Spring Cleaning Blowout!

God's Blessings on you All...

Who/What I am Praying For Today:
My bloggy friend's nephew - severely injured in Service to his Country
My children, that God be a presence in their lives and watch over them
Myself...for the Strength and Wisdom to look for and follow in God's guiding footsteps
Our government as they face the trying times ahead
All of our service members near and far

What I am Thankful For Today:
Hearing the song of the Robins and Red-Winged Blackbirds
Having so much quality time with my Honey
The wonderful relationship I share with each of my children
Hope, there is always a new tomorrow

Prayer Request...

Asking for prayers for a service member severely injured in the line of duty...

Please check out his story at my friends' blog...Jordan

Thank you so much!

Heart's Leadings...Tug of War

 Well Dear Friends, today I am having a tremendous tug of war in my heart...As many of you know, I have been working toward finishing my schooling. In what, I haven't exactly decided, I have been praying on it, waiting on the Lord's guidance. It just doesn't seem to be forth coming. In fact, I feel that He is leading me in another direction altogether.

I have been going to school for over 4 years now and have accomplished much in this time, including making the Dean's List several semesters in a row, graduating with my Associate's Degree and proving to myself (and several friends and family) that I CAN do it. My children and I have sacrificed much in the last four years for me to accomplish these goals and I am so appreciative of that.  However, lately, it feels like things have started to change, that my life is being moved in another direction. I no longer have the drive and determination to finish my classes. I do not look forward to the start of a new class with the anticipation I once did. I dread having to write papers and read text books when I used to relish the challenge.

Now my days and nights are filled with thoughts of the math practice that my daughter and I do together when I get home. I dream of the late night graham cracker-fests I have been having with my 15 year old son while we sit and talk about everything, just the two of us. I look forward to cutting coupons, planning menus, deepening my pantry, flower gardens, canning, quilting, sewing..My heart is turning to homemaking instead of my schooling.

Now, this wouldn't be a bad thing, except for the school loans. I really am not in a place to begin paying them off and am afraid of what will happen if I don't continue in school. I am accumulating many student loans and in a few years will be looking at a drop in my child support. I currently have a vehicle payment and another loan that I am paying off and was hoping that both would be over before I had to start repayment on the student loans.

I know that if God is leading me in a direction other than school, then he will take care of the financial part as well. It is just very difficult to step out in faith, knowing that he has something so awesome already in control. In church yesterday, Pastor stated that "God has ordained our steps". Meaning, he already knows where we are to go and has gone ahead to prepare the way. Pastor also said that it is easier to follow the steps of someone (God) who has gone ahead to blaze a trail than it is to blaze our own trail. All this is true, but the fear makes it so easy to hold back, to continue as I have always gone, to just throw my hands up and say I can't...

And so the tug of war continues....

Looking Toward Spring

Whew...its done...my class, the one that has been bedeviling me for weeks is over! I can take a deep breath, stretch, rub the tension from my shoulders and finally, excitedly, look toward spring. I am anticipating the new green grass, the warm breezes through open windows and the scent of flowers on the air.

Lately there is something in me calling me back to a life of simplicity. Pare down, appreciate what I have, acquire less material goods, spend more quality time with friends and family, get back to a time when those things were valued.

I go through this many times a year.

In fall the harvest calls me, supplying for my family and putting up canning, firewood, whatever...My soul seems to long for these things. In winter I turn to my hand crafts, quilting, knitting, and to the home arts, laundry, homemaking, etc. And now, in springtime, my heart turns toward thoughts of a garden, clothes hanging on the line, flowers from my garden sitting in a pretty vase on my counter.

Now, here is the hard part. I live in a trailer, in a trailer court, in town. I do not own my own trailer and am not supposed to put anything into the ground that can't go with me when I move. I have lived here for nearly 7 years and don't really plan on leaving unless I win the lottery.

How can I reconcile what my heart is telling me, what my soul is longing for when realistically, there is not a think I can do. I keep trying, deepening my pantry when I can, putting in a few flowers, but it isn't the life or lifestyle I want and it is so hard to keep putting it off...I need to come up with a plan....

My first step, pay off debt and figure out a few ways to incorporate simplicity into my life...

Today, I finished the baby quilt I am making for a dear cousin...its a first step...

Well, its off to bed...I'm sorry this wasn't a deep or meaningful entry, but it is where my heart is right now.

Who/What I am Praying For:
That the Lord leads me in the direction I am to go and that He provides the time and resources I need to get there
Patience
My children
Paul....
Those near and dear who are near and far

What I am Thankful For Today:
A houseful of teenagers, they are here, where I know where they are, what they are doing and who they are with!
The gift of quilting ability
Loving Cats
French braiding my daughters hair (and having her ask me to)

It finally hit me....

So, I know that I am not the best steward of my money. It seems that no matter how hard I try, I just can't seem to get things under control. Yes, we have everything we need, and many things we want, but it seems like I am always broke and my savings account is dry. I have been doing everything I can to remedy this and I am determined to conquer this!  I want my vehicle paid off, I want to buy a house, take a vacation, have an emergency fund. I just haven't been able to make it happen.

Well, I made a startling discovery this morning!  Its been 41 years in the making and many of you may say "DUH!" when I tell you but was a light bulb moment for me. While this discovery is something I knew and have known for many many years, I think that it just took its time sinking into my hard headed brain and I finally just got it!

I discovered this website through a friend of mine the other day. This person is going through their own financial crisis and has taken up with one of them there financial planner type people. The financial planner gave them this website and they passed it along to me.

This website is fantastic. You can take all your accounts, checking, savings, loans, credit cards, all of it and hook them all together to see what you are spending! You can also make up a budget and the website will take the accounts you have entered and apply them to your budget and track where your money is going. It also sends you emails when you go over budget in any category! How fantastic is that!

Well, I sat and entered all my information last night and as I was looking at my budget, compared to what I spent I was AMAZED! I could see EXACTLY where my money was going and when I realized how much I could be saving by NOT going to those places or buying those things, I could have died!

Then it hit me....just because you HAVE the money, doesn't mean you have to SPEND the money!

There it is, the big revelation that took 41 years to sink in! Like I said, kind of a "DUH" moment, but it really, REALLY hit me hard! So, now that I know where my money is going, the next step it to alter my life accordingly.

Because we are near the end of the month, I have declared March a No-Spending Month, just like my new friend Sharon has for February...check it out here. If it is not on the budget, I will not be spending it. I need to see if I can live on my budget so that I can make the necessary alterations to my life so I can live more within my means and live simply and meet my goals. I have budgeted for things like Dance Lessons, a Book at B & N and money for my Son's activities, along with the regular household bills so that no one feels deprived, but nothing excessive or over the top. I will take the month of March to stick to the budget, to see if it is feasible, to see if I can live with it and within it. After that I will revise what needs to be revised...

So, now, what have I learned? Don't spend money just because you have it.

My goal, to see how much I can have left over at the end of March from my income! Wanna join me????

What I am Thankful For: 
Sunshine
Kids back to school
Friends who care
Revelations
Kisses from my kids
Having a decent job
Brothers

Who I am Praying For: 
Myself as I struggle
My children that they Lord Bless them and Keep them
Paul....
My family and friends
My Ex-Husband that someday he may see the light

Feeling Invisible...

Have you ever had the feeling that you are invisible? That you can't be seen, can't be heard and therefore do not exist or if  you do exist,  you just don't matter?  I am in that dark dreary place right now and I can't seem to shake it off...

I feel invisible with co-workers and friends....I hear people talking about the weekend, laughing, sharing and whispering behind their hands (or over their cubicle wall) completely leaving me out. Never am I asked how my weekend was, what my kids are up to or even how I am feeling. I am not included in conversations or plans. I am not sure how to approach this without sounding like a whiny elementary school child. "So-and-so doesn't want to play with me!!" I wasn't good at dealing with this sort of thing then and I not good at it now...So I just pretend that I don't care...

I feel invisible at home...as a single parent, everything falls to me so of course I am not invisible when someone wants or needs something, but other than those times, you wouldn't know I was there...I ask for help with the chores and the request goes in one ear and right out the other...Bedtime? HA what a joke....All I am good for is food and rides and money...No big deal Mom will pay for that, no big deal, Mom can give me a ride and all my friends too, No big deal, Mom can do the chores. No big deal......

My extended family feels as though it is dissipating, evaporating in front of my eyes. Before my mom died, we were closeknit, getting together nearly every weekend or every other for something or other. Laughing, talking, sharing...and now that she is gone it is like no one has the time nor the interest to spend time with me.  I miss it (and her) more than anything. Now I get phone calls when someone needs something. No "Just wanted to chat" calls or "I wanted to check to make sure you are OK" calls. I feel as though I have been shoved roughly out of the ever-shrinking family circle.

Friends are busy with new relationships, old problems and their own lives. Even my relationship with my Honey isn't immune as he fights through his demons. I want to scream and shout that I am still here, to make someone, ANYONE hear me! To not feel so awful and alone. To believe that I matter to one person, to feel needed and wanted! And the part of me that isn't shouting wants to find a cabin in the woods and become a hermit. Turn about is fair play...you want nothing to do with me, I want nothing to do with you either.

There is only one problem with my plan....I am so damn lonely!

The worst has passed...

Well my Dear Friends,

Unlike the rest of the nation, or at least the Midwest, we seem to have escaped the major wrath of the storm! We received maybe 5 inches of snow and there was blowing and drifting, but not major snowfalls (5 inches is nothing in WI) and thankfully no ice, sleet or power outages in my area. The kids are off school today, but it is the first snow day this year (unusually late for where we live!) I made it into work today with only minor episodes of busting through snow drifts! Glad I have a 4-wheel drive Jeep!

On another note, I took little Miss to the eye doctor yesterday to pick up her very first pair of glasses. They are a shiny purple and she looks absolutely adorable in them! She was very excited for them couldn't wait to get them! I am glad she is so excited, it means she will wear them without having to be asked. She only needs them for distance (chalkboard, whiteboard, tv, etc) so its not an all the time thing.

An update on my friend battling depression: Definitely seeing improvement! Meds have been taken on time. Has been exercising every day to release those endorphins. Has been to work every day since being released from the hospital (huge deal! hasn't worked a 5 day work week since Sept.!) Has really been working on communication with those closest to them. Sending lots of prayers that this road to recovery is all up hill and that there are no relapses!  Would appreciate your prayers as well!

Well, back to work here now! Thinking of you all and hoping that you are safe and warm!

What I am Thankful for:
Warm, safe shelter
A good vehicle to get me to work
All of my loved ones are safe from the storm
Blue Sunshiny Skies
Having a job

Who/What I am Praying for:
My friend battling depression
Everyone in the midst of this blizzard, those with no power, no heat, no homes
My friend and cousin as they travel south on their "road trip"
My children, that God may hold them and guide them...

Discovery...

Hello Dear Ones,  Welcome back to my little piece of the world. I have been away for awhile, attending to a friend who is suffering through a very deep, dark depression. A suicide attempt was made, though unintentional, and it involved a stay for them in a psychiatric ward for a week, receiving the counseling and help they need to get back on track. I am praying with all my heart and soul that this will be the beginning of the long road back for my friend. My heart hurts at the pain they have endured.

In all of this mess, I have been forced to embark on my own journey of self discovery. I am finding things about myself that I am not sure I like so much and some things that aren't so bad. And yesterday, I had a huge revelation, one I want to share with all of you. All of my life I have had very few friends. The friends that I do have are friends for a lifetime, but there are still very few of them. I have always had a difficult time making friends. Many times I feel that people don't understand me and most often it is because I don't understand other people. I have always labeled myself different, strange, and even weird.

But now, I think I have discovered a portion of why this is. All my life I have been taught to be myself. I have been taught to be genuine, to be real. With me, what you see is what you get. I am simple and uncomplicated. If you see me laughing, you know I am happy. If I cry, I am sad. If I look in your eyes and tell you how sorry I am, you can bet that my heart aches for you. I am who I am and that is all I will ever be.I wear my heart on my sleeve and I love deeply and passionately, whether the world sees it or not. I see beauty where ever I go in the world, I find joy in the simple things. Every day is a bright new possibility that I embrace with open arms, joyously! But most of all I am thankful, for EVERYTHING! Passionately grateful for life, for love, for everything and I show it! I let the people I care about know that I love them, many times a day usually! I hug, I touch, I cry, I say "I love you". Do I  fear? Of course I do, but I approach that the same way I do everything else, openly. And usually I find that there really was nothing to fear after all.

This genuine openness is something that is inside me, that I can't control nor can I hide it.  I have been told it is a rare trait, that I am unique and special because I possess it. I have been told that this trait makes me stand out among others. This trait though is also my downfall in the friend-making department. Because I possess this trait, I look for it in others and gravitate toward it. Because it is a rare characteristic, it is difficult to find, meaning I don't easily make friends.

To me, to be anything less than open and real is not acceptable. I can't stand when a person is fake or misrepresenting themselves, in anyway. If I feel that someone is not being genuine with me, I don't have time for that person. If you don't like me, that is fine, I can deal with that. I understand that not everyone will. But don't act like you are my best friend then either. I can see right through you.You don't REALLY care. Don't pretend to be someone you're not. And before you judge me and decide that you don't like me, why don't you get to know me? Its all there for the world to see, but only those close enough will get the benefit! It really does confuse me how people can be one person one time and another later. I don't understand how people can change their spots in an instant, one minute being a sneering, snobby bitch and the next be sugary sweet. I've seen it happen often and with many people and I still don't understand it.

I am not saying that I have never acted this way. I am sure that I have or at least appear to have to other people. But the difference is that in me, it has been unknowingly and unintentional. And many people probably look at me and think "there is NO WAY she can honestly care that deeply". How wrong they are, I do care THAT deeply.

Being this type of person causes my heart to be bruised and broken quite often. Many times tears are shed because someone has trampled on my feelings. I have been labeled too sensitive, emotional and odd. I'm okay with that. It has taken me a long time to see the truth of who I am and to be okay with it. I have learned that it really is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. And I love with all my heart. I wouldn't change who I am for all the tea in China and I hope to pass this on to my children so they too can live with a joyous, open, loving heart.

God's Blessings on all of you my Dear Sweet Ones,
May He fill your life with His abundant blessings!

What I am Thankful For:
Sunshine in January
Friends who see the real me and appreciate it
Family who loves me unconditionally
Paul for helping me to understand and loving me in a way no other ever has

Who I am Praying For:
My Friend who Suffers from Depression
My children that God may guide their lives
Our Government, that they make wise decisions for our country
Our Service Members around the globe

Handmade Gifts...

I am sure many of you are aware of the chain statuses that hit facebook from time to time. You know the ones, its daughter's week, its son's week, copy and paste this if....well I see a new one hit this week and its one I have decided to participate in.  I don't do the Farmville, or Cityville or what ever other "Ville's" they are working on this week. I think they are silly and a waste of my time. This one, however, was so different it just caught my eye.

The post goes something like..."Pay it forward 2011- I promise to send something homemade to the first 5 people who comment on this status. In turn you must post this as your status and make the same promise. The rule is it must be homemade and it has to be given sometime in 2011."

I love homemade gifts. It doesn't matter if it is from a 4 year old or a 94 year old. The love that is put into the homemade gifts is the best in the world.I treasure every gift my kids make me in school and will treasure them for ever. Each one resides in a place of importance and prominence in my home until it is replaced by the newest treasure wrought by their hands. Then the older one is lovingly wrapped and put away for safe keeping. 


Some may call me a hoarder, but I don't think it has reached that drastic moniker just yet! I do love homemade...the Psyanky from my best friend for my daughter's birth, the quilt from my grandmother from when I was a child, the hand print pot holder from my daughter when she was in 2nd grade, the name plaque from my son. It is all treasured and held ever so dear...


So for this love of homemade, I will participate in this new and latest facebook fad. I already have the 5 people who commented and I have commented on a few. I can't wait to get started...my creative gene is calling me! And I can't wait to see what I get back! 


Since none of my winners visit me here (I don't think), I will post pictures of my progress. I do have a baby quilt to finish first and have all year to finish these...


I can't imagine a better way to start the new year and to work on one of my goals for the year "deepen my friendships and create new ones" than by giving the gift of love...


And with this, I want to leave you a thought..
God bless you all...


What I am Thankful For...
My  Children and the wonderful young people they are growing into
Sunshine after several dreary days
Hot Cocoa on a cold winter morning
Celebrations with friends
Reclaiming relationships


What/Who I am Praying for....
Jesus' love for me

Monday...

Well my Dear Ones,

I know it has been quite a few days again since I have posted anything. It seems my life has taken on a new twist yet again. I am sad to say that my close friend who suffers from depression attempted to take their own life on Friday night. I thank the Good Lord for His hand in it and thank Him for sparing my friends life, however I now know that the road ahead is even longer than once thought. Any prayers you can say for my friend would be greatly appreciated.

So as we work through this, I may not be here as often. Please know I think of you and am remembering you in my prayers as well. Hoping to see you soon...

Yours in Christ...
Sheila

Snow, snow and more snow.....with a touch of gratefulness

I know I have nothing to complain about. Really, this winter has been relatively mild for a Wisconsin winter and I know there are places that have a LOT more snow than we have, but today, I am just sick of snow!

The first snow of the year is fun. I love to watch the kids laughing and playing in the snow, some for the very first time.The Christmas snow is beautiful too. To be inside where it is warm, snuggled in with loved ones watching the world outside turn into a huge snowglobe with the gigantic flakes floating down from the heavens. And even a blizzard can be a blessed event. See my previous post about the best weekend ever to see what I mean.

But these constant, every other day, 1 -2 inch things are absolutely pointless! They do nothing but mess up the roads and wreak havoc for everyone.They make travel difficult and mess up plans. They cause extra work and extra layers!

I keep trying to remember why it is that I choose to remain here in the Midwest where snow is a weekly (and at times, daily) occurance.

My roots run deep here, 5 generations worth and most of my family is still here. I can't imagine living someplace that the seasons don't change and I know that having winter makes the springtime all that sweeter, but right now, I am really sick of snow! 

I feel like a complete whiner today, so instead, I will try to focus on my gratefulness. I will remember those things that make me glad to be alive. The things that bring a smile to my face and bring the sun to my heart!

Today I am Thankful For:
My wonderful, beautiful children who make me laugh and smile every single day!
My beloved boyfriend, who loves me as no other has
My adored family, father, brothers,  sis-in-law, nieces, nephews, aunts, uncles and cousins....
My best friends, with me for many years
Memories of my mother and grandmother
A warm house filled with love and laughter
Having a job, close to home


Those I am Praying For
All those dealing in one way or another with the many natural disasters affecting this world.
Everyone affected by the tragedy in Tuscon last Saturday
My children, that God hold their lives in His hands and direct their steps on the path of His choosing.
Safety, health and provision for all family and friends
Healing for my friend with depression.

And I leave  you with this thought...."Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever."  1 Chronicles 16:34

Love and peace to you my Dear Ones....

Ponderings.....

Hello Dear Friends....

I am sitting at my desk today, pondering all of the goals  I have for the New Year. There really is quite a list and  I have all the faith in the world that I can accomplish every last one of them. I just hope that I have the energy and ambition to follow through. It will take dedication and planning, perseverance and determination, all of which I know I possess. I have decided that to really make them come true, it will take one last thing. I HAVE to make them a priority.

Instead of procrastinating and finding other things to do, I just need to sit down and do it!   Make that budget, clean that closet, go for a walk.  The items on my list aren't HARD!  Most of my goals are either just time consuming (making a budget), take planning (family vacation),  just aren't that pleasant (cleaning out the closets and cupboards), or a combination of all the above (exercise). I just need to do it. Take that leap of faith, straighten my good Norwegian backbone and muscle on! Get to gettin' as my grandfather would say....

One of the plans is to blog it all! Make that list and use the blog to track my progress and check things off as they get done.Come along for the ride...Its gonna be a BUSY, productive, cleansing, inspiring year!